Becoming Inaudible

I dreamed I died.
My lungs were polluted by one of my best friends
and I could feel my blood slowing with my heartbeat
and my legs going numb and my breathing slowing,
becoming inaudible.
Something saved me.
I can't remember what, though.
And I also can't remember who I was with.

When I woke up in the morning,
I visited the guilty best friend like I do every morning.
Or at least every once in a while during the times
my friend goes away.

That dream is the first I've ever had in which harm comes to me
instead of someone else.

I used to dream of the destruction of others
and my inability to stop it.
One scared me so badly that when I woke from bed in the hotel
my father and I were staying in, the first thing I did was
walk to the door, open it and stand outside in my t-shirt and underwear
to make sure that I wasn't dreaming anymore.
I was shaking.