The End

I've just realized that I was completely mistaken about most of the people I once appreciated.
They've all turned their back on me in favor of gossip, backstabbing and that Bitch Ass grapevine.
I hate that Grapevine.

How could I have known before that they were not what I thought they were - free and spontaneous and in love with the little things in life,
loyal, trustworthy, all the things that I try to be and that I expect from best friends.
How was I to know that they were completely hollow, fake.
They only care about gaining from others misfortune. They will gladly sacrifice any person to be the one with more friends in the end,
to get out on top.

Violence has been tempting me.
Fuck.
Violence is ignorant and I have always tried to react with words but words aren't enough.
Someone needs to beat the living shit out of them, beat the sense into them.
They are so, so, so, so wrong.
I just can't understand who could be so, for lack of a better word, heartless, also shallow.
My fiance was the one to use the word "heartless". While I refrain from such words, it does seem to fit perfectly in with this puzzle.
This madness.

I am now friendless.
And the thing is, I don't have to be.
I could easily suck up to them, play the martyr and get back in their good graces, but there would be no reason for it.
If I were like them, I would do it. Because all that would matter to me is being everyone's friend and staying in their circle.
But I don't want friends like them.
I want friends I can trust.
Friends who won't say one thing to me and an ENTIRELY different thing to another.
Friends who make people who don't even know me hate my guts and make my other friends hate me as much as they do.
I want friends who make me happy.
And these friends, while we've had our good times, don't make me happy anymore.
They actually haven't in a while.

It's just a sad thing to discover that you're alone and that the things of the past have come to an end.
The good times:
morning raves in the car,
group speed smokes,
road trips,
narnia's,
codenames,
"heart to hearts".

Over.
It's the end.
And maybe for the better. Definitely for the better.
I still have the most important thing to me, Dillon, the love of my life. We will never be separated.
He's been unfailingly here for me, through all of this.
He shares my hatred for all but one.
Besides, I'm about to graduate and move on.
I suppose that the severing of my ties to them will only make it easier.

But for now it is hard. And I cannot shake my violent hatred for their betrayal.

In two words, I could summarize:

This sucks.